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“Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” This powerful proverb nestled in the Bible hits home for anyone who’s felt the sting of unfulfilled desires. The beauty of scripture is that no matter where you find yourself on this journey—no matter what life’s signs or lows you’re facing—there are verses that can affirm, exhort, and encourage you. When you’re overwhelmed by life’s challenges and struggle to find the words, scripture can speak for you with clarity and poignancy.
Solomon’s proverb—Hope deferred makes the heart sick—captures how holding on to hope, even when it feels delayed or out of reach, can make the heart feel heavy. Whether you’re waiting for a favorable report from a doctor, hoping for a job offer after countless interviews, or, as a single person, waiting for a God-ordained relationship, that unfulfilled hope can weigh on you so deeply it feels almost like a physical ache.
Today, I’m mainly writing to singles waiting for a partner and God to fulfill a long-held desire for marriage. You are not alone. In conversations with many people of faith, I’ve found it surprising how often people don’t feel they can bring their profound disappointment, hurt, or “sick heart” to God in an open, vulnerable way. Yet scripture shows us that Jesus shares in our pain; He hurts with us when we hurt. God knows our hearts even better than we do and sees the things we struggle with, including those unfulfilled longings.
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When we bring our hurt to God, it isn’t that we reveal something new to Him; instead, we’re allowing Him into those areas of our hearts where we feel wounded. God, in His love, doesn’t force Himself on us. As a gentle, patient Father, He waits for us to invite Him in. We can bring these tough conversations to Him, trusting He’s always ready to meet us there. This openness with God is one reason it’s so essential for people of faith to become biblically literate; a strong understanding of scripture builds a healthy and grounded view of God’s true character and heart toward us, which we can lean on during times of struggle.
If you look through the Psalms, you’ll see David—whom scripture describes as a man after God’s own heart—constantly bringing his hurts, fears, and disappointments before God. David’s laments have become familiar to me in my walk as a believer, especially in those seasons of waiting. Lament is a powerful way to express our sorrow, agony, and fear. It’s a structured way of turning to God, laying out our complaints, making our requests, and ultimately expressing our trust in Him.
Yes, deferred hope makes the heart sick, but here’s the truth: you are not alone and have access to a God who sees your pain and is with you. Let this give you hope. Scripture says that we will have trouble in this world, but take heart—God has overcome the world. We know that as long as we live in these physical bodies, we’ll experience delay, disruption, and disappointment. But we are not without hope.
To the single woman waiting, the heart hoping, or anyone in a “not yet” season, remember: your longing doesn’t go unnoticed. God is still at work waiting. Use this time to deepen your intimacy with Him, reminding yourself that His love for you isn’t tied to your relationship status and His plans for you are unwavering.
In the waiting, we discover that He is enough. While He may not always respond in the way we anticipate, He promises His presence—and that’s a hope we can count on.
Sade Solomon is a NYC-based social media personality and multi-hyphenate creator who boldly and fashionably ignites authentic and candid conversations on topics surrounding intercourse, singleness, and abstinence. After embarking on her journey of abstinence in 2013, Sade began openly sharing her life-changing commitment on various online platforms while enlightening and inspiring many through her journey. In her book, Ready, Set, Wait, Sade peels back the layers of truth about navigating singleness and abstinence as a single Christian woman. Her work and commentary have been featured by Good Morning America, Harper’s Bazaar, Essence, Black Love, and XO Necole.
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