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Single parenthood is a lifestyle that many women find themselves living, often not by choice but by circumstance. While no parent sets out hoping to do it alone, many mothers and fathers navigate the complex realities of single parenthood. My single father raised me for a portion of my life, which gave me a deep appreciation and respect for single fathers.
My perspective on single motherhood has developed through my friendships with young single moms; I’ve walked alongside them through the highs and lows of single motherhood. Through this experience, I’ve become passionate about understanding the intricacies of single mothers’ emotional well-being and self-care needs. While many single moms may not seek the “badge of honor” that comes with this title, they deserve recognition for their challenges and complexities as the sole parent.
The journey of single parenthood brings its own emotional and mental challenges. One common thread I’ve noticed is the weight of carrying the emotional and physical responsibilities of parenting alone. Many single mothers wrestle with feelings of guilt and shame, often due to the life choices that have led to their single-parent households. Spending time in the community with single moms, I’ve come to understand that their minds often feel like octopuses’ tentacles—each one focused on different aspects of their children’s lives, the past, the present, and the future.
Kelly and Sandy are two single moms who have faced the distinctive struggles of single parenthood and have learned to navigate it with faith in God, support from the community, vulnerability, and self-awareness.
The Emotional Impact of Single Parenthood
When Kelly was asked how her journey as a single mom has impacted her emotional well-being, she described it as a path of growth and transition. Her postpartum experience didn’t align with her expectations, creating a gap between what she imagined and what reality brought. Co-parenting immediately after giving birth was marked by many tears, yet Kelly commends herself for the growth she’s seen in herself—a growth she attributes to her faith. She finds comfort in Romans 8:28, which says, “God works all things together for good.” This truth has been tested and proven for Kelly in her journey as a single mom.
Sandy, meanwhile, shared how single parenthood has sometimes felt like a thief of experiences, as so much of her time and energy goes toward managing the mental to-do list of tasks and responsibilities. Sandy has learned to redefine her view of motherhood, finding joy in savoring moments with her son.
Navigating Loneliness and Overwhelm
Both loneliness and overwhelm are common challenges in single parenthood. Kelly finds that overwhelm often overshadows loneliness in her experience. For her, prioritizing what matters—like spending time with her son—is essential, even if it means leaving other tasks for later. She realizes that life as a mom looks vastly different than when she was single. To combat loneliness, Kelly values time with friends and in the community and makes space for personal moments of joy outside of her “mom” role.
For Sandy, finding support and companionship with friends helps manage feelings of isolation. Learning to lean on community has been challenging for her, but she recognizes how the individualism of Western culture can make self-sufficiency a burden rather than a strength. Instead, Sandy is learning to be vocal about her needs—reaching out for physical and spiritual support when necessary. For her, self-care varies by the day, but prioritizing rest is vital, allowing her to show up for her son in the ways that matter most. Sandy’s self-care is grounded in trusting God to meet her needs, even in challenging seasons.
Faith and Community as Pillars of Strength
Though there’s no single formula for navigating single parenthood, there are strategies that can offer support. Kelly urges other single moms to lean into their faith, saying God’s presence gave her the resilience she needed in those early parenting days. Sandy emphasizes the importance of connecting with the community and pushing past the lie that single motherhood makes one a burden. Despite the complex parts, Kelly and Sandy discover a profound joy in motherhood. Sandy treasures watching her son grow into his person, and Kelly feels honored by the unique purpose she’s found through her journey with him.
Single parenthood may not be a lifestyle women would choose, yet it’s a reality many step into and come to embrace. The journey is filled with challenges, growth, healing, and learning. Faith and community are two critical pillars for these moms that make navigating single parenthood possible. For single moms who may feel alone, remember that there is a God who sees you and, hopefully, a community that supports you. We aren’t meant to do life alone; we are meant to live interdependently, with the openness and vulnerability to seek and accept help. After all, as the saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child.”
Sade Solomon is a NYC-based social media personality and multi-hyphenate creator who boldly and fashionably ignites authentic and candid conversations on topics surrounding intercourse, singleness, and abstinence. After embarking on her journey of abstinence in 2013, Sade began openly sharing her life-changing commitment on various online platforms while enlightening and inspiring many through her journey. In her book, Ready, Set, Wait, Sade peels back the layers of truth about navigating singleness and abstinence as a single Christian woman. Her work and commentary have been featured by Good Morning America, Harper’s Bazaar, Essence, Black Love, and XO Necole.
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